


Feel it anyway

by orphan_account



Category: 18th Century CE RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Blow Jobs, Canon Era, Don't Judge, I Ship It, Imagined Blow Job, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Period-Typical Homophobia, Smut, This is pretty shit, first smut, i can't tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 11:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10661193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Alex knows he shouldn't feel this way, it doesn't make him want it less





	Feel it anyway

Alex knew that he wasn't supposed to feel this way, he had been told that since he was a little kid in Nevis. There was two men who lived together, they had escaped to the Island after being persecuted, and everyone else kept away from them, but even after many people had explained it to him Alexander still couldn't see a problem. 

If two people loved each other the world should just leave them be. 

Of course like most social issues the world just seemed to love getting involved, getting in the business of things that it wasn't concerned with. What did it matter if when he was near John he just wanted to lean in and press their lips together like he was supposed to with a girl. Or if when he was lying in his tent at night he looked over a John for just a moment too long to get that picture in his head when he needed to take care of himself. 

He was planning on just surviving like that, eventually finding a wife that he would probably never fell love for the same way as he did for John. That was fine, it was survivable. If anyone found out about his innermost thoughts when he was touching himself at night, hoping that the wrong name wouldn't slip off of his lips, he knew that he would never rise up, never become anything. 

So even though sometimes he thought that John may also think about him, and look at him a night he didn't mention it, for fear that his dearest Laurens may turn him in to Washington, forcing him to stay a nobody, never get his legacy. 

That was, until one night. When he was so sure that John was not coming back for a while, said he was going out to talk to Lafayette, said he needed something from him. That he decided the pressure was too much and it needed to be dealt with. 

Once Laurens had left the tent, Alex started remembering his face, with the miles and miles of freckles and he curly, perfect hair. How much Alex wanted, No, needed him right in that moment. 

He pictured John’s perfect, occasionally cocky mouth wrapped around his dick. The feeling perfect as he wrapped his own fist around it and started to pump in time to imaginary Laurens mouth around his cock. 

As he was nearing the pleasure a momentary lapse in his judgement found him spewing moans out of his mouth that he had promised himself to never do. 

“ugh, John, fuck, s-so hot” he spewed his mouth running like a leaky faucet, unable to stop itself. 

At that moment he heard that flap of the tent open. Oh shit. 

He looked up and his eyes were met with none other then John’s gaze. Alexander’s fear killed his erection faster that anything he had ever witnessed. 

“Um, ugh hi John. How much of that did you hear?” Alex questioned his voice riddled with fear. Fear of losing his friend, his position, and that he had irreversibly thrown away his shot. 

“I heard enough Alexander” John almost whispered back at him. “Please, please don't say anything, I’m so sorry. I-I didn't mean to it, it wont happen again. Jack please just don’t ruin me, you have every right to want to, to be disgusted by me, but if we were ever friends just please don’t” he said, on the verge of tears from the fear of John’s decision racking through his body. 

“Alex, what kind of friend would I be to cause you that much pain, and I must indulge you that i to have thought about a sinful moment with you, but mon cher, you must be more careful, what if it had not been I who had walked in on your moment, had it been General Lee, or heaven forbid, Washington. Where would you be then?”

“John, did you say you thought of me too in moments such as this one?” He said breathless at the thought. “Yes, that is what I said, I probably should not have revealed that information” John replied, cursing himself inside for revealing himself to his friend. 

“D-do you think you could come here?” Alex questioned quietly as he patted the spot next to him. 

“I am not sure if that is a good idea, you see in this moment temptation may get the better of us and we could betray the good lords word. As the feeling that both of us get is one he has forbidden” John said, unsure of what to do in this moment.

“But, Laurens if it is a feeling that both of us, good men and soldiers, have often without encouragement how could if be a bad thing. The good book also allows slaves to be kept though we both know that to be a terrible thing, maybe this is just misunderstanding on the humans who wrote the bible. Please just come and lay with me John, if only for one night”  
Alex pleads, his voice breaking at the though of sharing a moment and secret like this with dear John, but never seeing it come to light.

“Ok Alex, maybe you do have point about the book, it is a fallible text written be man and there is the possibility that the men who wrote it could have been mistaken” he says, is mind obviously playing mental gymnastics just to get this far. 

Laurens walks over to his friends cot, on the opposite side of their small shared tent from where he would usually go to. He climbed in and just sat down next to Alex, waiting for him to make the first move. 

“John, you do not have to do this, I will not hold it against you if you just want to walk back across the tent and never look at me again, so long as you do not tell anyone” 

“No, no I want this, god I need this, have been wanting for so long.” he pauses “I never though it would actually happen though, you and me, me and any man. I always figured I would keep this secret until the day I died”

“Well somethings just cannot be kept secret, not to those in your heart of hearts” Alex says, hesitantly pressing his lips against the older man’s, savouring this moment forever incase it never happens again. 

They just lie in Alex’s cot for a while, enjoying to feel of getting aquatinted with each other in this new way. 

But Alex soon grows exceedingly inpatient, his cock having become excited again held in only be his undergarments, he begins to rub it upward, thrusting against John who is above him. His sense tune him to that fact that John is in a similar predicament. 

John moves his mouth off of Alex’s making it travel further down his body, stopping at each button to undo it. 

“Fuck John, have you done this before, you seemed so, ah, hesitant but now you seem so skilled” Alex gets out letting the pleasure of this moment wash over him. 

John pulls his mouth off of Alexander explaining himself “Before, you joined out family of aides I had a few meaningless hookups with other lonely men looking for release, but nothing like this. None of them hold a candle to your beauty. I know that this is sinful and i will probably burn for an eternity because of it but, I need you” he says returning to undoing the buttons on Alex’s shirt, all the while leaving little nips and bruises. 

“Now mon petit lion what was it you were imagining me doing exactly, that had you so worked up before” he says seductivly around Alex’s nipple sucking small enjoyable circles around him.

“You were , ugh god, doing ju-, fuck, -st this but with your, ah, pretty little lips wrapped around my cock” Alex gets out finally panting. 

“What, like this?” John says as he moves further down, his mouth ghosting over Alex’s covered dick “Are you sure this is what you want, because i could leave if you want?” He says teasingly

“Don’t you fucking dare, we finish what we start” Alex says, he eyes clouded over with a dark cloud of lust. 

“Ok mr, as you wish” he snaps the waistband of Alex’s undergarments back, his cock slapping free on his stomach for what seems like less then one second before it is in John’s mouth.

The pleasure is better than anything Alexander could have dreamed of, John begins by kitten licking the top and holy shit if he thought that was anything the man takes almost his entire cock into his mouth. And Alex is no small package. 

He continues with that for a while, just taking and swallowing until he decides to hollow out his cheeks and just blow on the top of Alex’s throbbing cock. That is it the pleasure is too much, and John absolutely blows his load, sending it streaming down Johns throat. 

John swallows every last drop and pops back up to be around Alex’s head. They simply lie like that for a while, enjoying the after glow 

“Do you need me to take care of anything for you? I forgot to ask” Alex says meekly, feeling as though he had taken advantage of his friend.

“That, um, that will not be required I may have blowitintomypants” John says blushing. 

“Wow John Im flattered is sucking my cock really that amazing?” he says returning to his kidding state. 

“Um ya actually, it is a very nice, pretty cock”

**Author's Note:**

> That was my first smut like ever, I'm really hoping no one I know ever reads this. And to be honest no one else should read this it is so awful but here you go, I may continue this a little series of one shots if you like it so Kudos/Comments/Bookmarks are appreciated


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